Mary Sue Parody

Mary Sue Parody (Sorta)

Lucille Leza Bridget-Creide was a very special girl. She was fluent in three languages (Spanish Danish and English) took dance, played soccer and lacrosse and was top of her class. But all these things paled in comparison to what was happening now. She was snooping around her creepy uncle's old attic, when she uncovered an ancient amulet. She, being the brilliant protagonist that could do no wrong, immediately decided that it would go great with her outfit. As soon as the chain touched her skin a brilliant flash of light enveloped her and within seconds she was gone.

Skatha was having a very bad day. It had started off so good, a new human to play with! But had quickly taken a turn for the worse. He was given the task of meeting the new human and be one of the 'good guys' as a previous human had said, before they ate him. So the part wolf had strolled over to the Administrations of All Things to do With Portals to find where the human had landed and to also get a portal pass. That part of the day had all been fine, he had strolled past the usual lines and gotten the info he needed right away.
No, he mused, the day had really gone downhill when he had reached the part of the day that he was expecting to enjoy the most, meeting the human. Usually the humans were frightened when they realized they were in another world. It was so much fun to lead them on to believing they were a saviour and what not. The last hope of Tarbia. It made eating them so much fun, especially when they didn't expect an attack from their so called 'allies'.
But this human didn't give him the pleasure of creating a story line for their 'adventure' to follow. She had gone off and created her own story! When he got there instead of seeing a frightened child he saw a smug ugly little girl. The first words out of her mouth were; “I'm a princess aren't I?” in that nasally tone of voice all children seem to posses. And then, without waiting for confirmation she just goes on.
“But of course I am, after all when one lands in a strange world then one must be royalty. And I am always right so I must be right!”
At this point Skatha was beginning to wonder whether she was a bit touched in the head. Then she spotted him and his day only got worse.
“Ah! a loyal subject already to greet me! Come hither loyal subject, no need to be afraid of my magnificence, I will not harm you in any way.”
Deciding to play along with it for now, seeing as how he really wanted a snack later on, he replied “The tales of you're beauty do you no justice your majesty.” Inwardly he was half gagging and half snickering.
“Of course they don't, someone as beautiful as moi could not be described with just words.” She sniffed. “If you would be so kind to lead me to where my palace is.” The thinly veiled order was placed, how could Skatha refuse such a loverly opportunity?
“Ah, of course, right this way your majesty,” Skatha said bowing and gesturing in the general direction of the forest bordering the city. And so the journey of not-so-epic proportions began.

Skatha was now furious. The girl was skipping. Skipping! The first stop was the Forest of DOOM. That's right, not doom or even Doom, this was the Forest of DOOM. It was aptly named after all the man/woman/creature/mold-on-bottom-of-foot eating trees that lived there. And that aggravating girl was skipping through as if she was on a picnic! She was dodging all the branches with out even knowing! He was forced to do weird flips and turns and squats while she was just skipping. She was taunting him. He knew it. Pretending to be oblivious. Well he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing him mad. Hmpf. He'd show her. So when she turned around to get him to hurry up he plastered on a fake smile and sped up.