Upsidaisy Vernon Dursley
Posts : 6 Join date : 2011-02-25
| Subject: Sins Kiss - A novel Sat Feb 26, 2011 4:07 pm | |
| I'm writing on a novel, called "Sins Kiss". It's really not a romantic novel, or at least not yet. It's actually a vampire-novel, but no sparkly-humanlike-vampires, no, this are more like the original vampires. Here it comes, the first 2 chapters, and I've posted them on dA before, but I want to post them here too. (I put them in spoilers) - Spoiler:
Sins Kiss - Chapter 1 by *Upsidaisy
Aletta looked down at the corpse in the mud puddle. The blood made the brown water more red than brown, and Aletta was tempted to drink more. The body was almost empty, only a few drops were left. She pulled out the lighter from his pocket and threw it into the air before she took the opposite turn where it slowly sailed down to her hands. She dragged the corpse along the ground and dumped it into the ditch beside the road. She lit the lighter and threw it down on the white body. Her red hair was dancing down her shoulders. The fire lit up her face and the white skin glistened. She calmly walked down the road again, her slim but strong body moved fast. If you didn't notice the wild and animalistic way she went on, you probably wouldn't be able to separate her from a human.
The door was open to the big, old white house when Iriam came home from the night's trip. She wondered why the brown wooden-door was open in the middle of the night. She sniffed around her, her light brown hair surrounded her thin neck, and the moon lit her face up. Her body were slim and model-like. Even though the moon should have made an shadow, it just didn't exist. She listened to the unusual silence. Normally, the quarrels between the clanmembers would be in full swing at this time. She ran in to the house and closed the door quietly behind her. She did not even have to shout hello, before Aletta appeared in front of her. "You're usually not home so early." The comment elicited a response and Iriam considered Aletta's expression. "I'm home early. And why was our door open?". Aletta sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "I really don't know, and I really don't cre. You did clean up after yourself?" Iriam rolled her eyes. "I'm not three years old. Actually, I'm well over one hundred. Even though your our leader, you don't have to act like you're our mom." She sprinted up the stairs before she slid into one of the 5 rooms. The door shut behind her and the lock was quickly fastened. The smell of Benjamin sneaked into her nose. He sat in front of the fireplace, in a red sofa upholstered in silk, slurped slowly, almost silently a glass of water and flipped page in the book he was reading. "How are you?" His voice was calm as usual, and she walked to him, and slided down into the sofa. "Good, really nice to get some fresh air." He chuckled, his short brown hair looked nice, and his muscles showed under his skin, he placed the bookmark between the sides and left it on the little table. "Good that it was delicious." She wondered why the house was filled with peace. "So, nothing new here?" She stared at him, vigilant and contemplating. "Should it be something new?" Benjamin quietly raised an eyebrow, and Iriam asked "It's just .." She paused and thought for a part of a second, "So quiet here. Whenever I come home, it is fighting and trouble." Benjamin chuckled again, shaking his head. "I love the way you talk when you're suspicious." He lent forward and kissed her softly. "Doom is near. We can't fight it." Iriam suddenly sat still. "Doom?"
Aletta went into the dining room. The map was still on the table, and Aletta pulled out the chair again. Her body slipped down quietly on the chair, and her head bent down imperceptibly against the map. Her eyes flew over the paper, planned and memorized. She felt their eyes staring from the door, where three figures stood and looked at every movement she made. She looked up. The three figures took a half step backwards. Shikita, the youngest walked up to the chair and looked over Aletta's shoulder. Aletta growled low. "We have no choice. It is impossible." Shikita turned quickly, shook her head before she turned to Aletta again. "Nothing is impossible." Her voice was confident and intoxicated with blood. "This is impossible. We can't get through this. Not alive." Suddenly, Aletta was gone. The frontdoor slammed after her, and once again, it was quiet.
Iriam stared at Benjamin. He sat motionless, staring straight forward.. "Doom. Yes. I leave it to Aletta to tell you about it." His body loosened up again, and he reached for the book. Full of anger Iriam rose, flew out the door, just as the frontdoor slammed again. She sprinted after Aletta, and at full speed, she did find Aletta, running in the woods. Aletta jumped up in a tree, and Iriam flew through the air, and landed in the tree in front of Aletta's. The grumble that flew out of Aletta's mouth waswild and untamed, but Iriam was not shocked. She jumped down, and hoped that Aletta would do the same. Aletta still sat in the tree, and Iriam shouted "I have a right to know what happens!" Aletta shook his head. "Nothing happens." Iriam grunted. "No arguing in the house. Only peace. Benjamin is talking about doom, you're flying out of a door. I do not know what, but something happens." Aletta snorted. "We'll die. That is all. We are dead already. Nothing else than that." Iriam shook his head again. "Nothing else?" She grunted before she went back to the house.
And chapter 2: - Spoiler:
Sins Kiss Short Chapter 2 by *Upsidaisy
Iriam sat on the sofa, just like she'd done for two days. Aletta wouldn't tell her what her clan meant with "the doom". Benjamin had tried to talk with her, but the only thing she did was turning her neck once every hour. "Please Iriam, don't sit there, do something. Talk!" He begged, almost cried on his knees for her to talk.
Aletta ran through the forest, if she could cry, she probably would. But she kept on running. Suddenly she stopped. She sniffed into the air, and turned around. "Hello there, took long before you noticed me." The voice was low, calm and sneaky. "What do you want?" Aletta looked at the man. He was tall, with dark hair and brown eyes. His skin was almost human, but Aletta could easy see the difference. "Oh, I think you know what I want." He stood in front of her now. He touched her hair, lifted it up and then he whispered "You." Aletta shook her head. "Oh no." She ran away, so fast that a human eye could see her. But she didn't come far; a few kilometers away she could see him. She hit the ground fast. For one second it hurt. Suddenly she snapped back into reality, wondering why she got that flashback.
Benjamin looked at Iriam. She'd been talking, nothing that meant anything, but at least some random words came out of her mouth. "Please, tell me." She looked at him. "Tell you what?" Benjamin looked at her, frustrated. "You know what I want to know." He still didn't understand. "Please!" She rose and Benjamin followed. He leaned forward and kissed her. "Grr." He laughed, "Now, what do you want to know." She almost laughed before she said quietly "about the doom." Benjamin disappeared, and Iriam stood there alone.
Aden looked at Aletta. "You remember me, right?" Aletta grunted "how could I forget such a stupid man?" He laughed quietly, "If you dare to call me stupid, I at least I know that you're the one." She backed away from him, looking terrified. "Don't you dare!" Aletta almost stumbled but didn't fall. "Oh, come on, we both know that you love me." At the same second he was in front of her, touching her lips softly. "Excuse me?" She ran away, soon Aden was in front of her "I'm a lot older than you, and you know it."
Benjamin sat in a corner, up on the loft. He watched a spider run up on the wall. His thoughts flied around, as they were pictures in the air. He could almost feel a tear dropping from his eye. Quietly he rose, and he started to walk slowly down the stairs. He could see Aletta sitting in the sofa, paralyzed. He walked against her. "Are you okay?" Suddenly, like she woke up, she looked at him, stared like she tried to understand something. "Uhm... Yeah. I'm okay." She sighed and rose "Of course I'm okay- How's our plan working?" She smiled weakly. "Hush! It's okay I guess." "You don't like it, do you?" He hesitated "I don't know. I want her to live, but it's hard." He smiled before he ran out of the room, and up the stairs. Iriam stood there, and he could see that she was hurt. "It's not like that!" "It is!" Raging she pushed him out of her way, and disappeared.
Last edited by Upsidaisy on Sat Feb 26, 2011 4:21 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
|
Allysmurfy I wear no Wings
Location : Hell Posts : 148 Join date : 2010-12-19
| Subject: Re: Sins Kiss - A novel Sat Feb 26, 2011 4:13 pm | |
| Her red hair was dancing down her shoulders. The fire lit up her face and the white skin glistened. She calmly walked down the road her slim but strong body moved fast. If you didn't notice the wild and animalistic way she went on, you probably wouldn't be able to separate her from a human.
She sniffed around her, her light brown hair surrounded her thin neck, and the moon lit her face up. Her body were slim and model-like. Even though the moon should have made an shadow, it just didn't exist.
I'm confused about this? Are they to different people? Also the rest of the chapter was hard to read because when you used dialogue you didn't enter, and the paragraphs were a little bit to big. This does sound intresting though, and I'm going to continue this wonderful new vampire book. | |
|
Upsidaisy Vernon Dursley
Posts : 6 Join date : 2011-02-25
| Subject: Re: Sins Kiss - A novel Sat Feb 26, 2011 4:20 pm | |
| It's a different paragraph, so the last is Iriam, and the first is Aletta. I'll edit it, so the dialogue looks more normal! | |
|
Scottie Last of the Time Lords
Age : 920 Location : Gallifrey Posts : 139 Join date : 2010-12-19
| Subject: Re: Sins Kiss - A novel Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:10 pm | |
| I like it! It's good! However I do agree with what BWD has said, and also at one point I think you meant to say 'care' but you spelt it 'cre' It is good | |
|